Cleaning up the CFP Committee

My list of proposed changes to the CFP Committee. I will not play in any bowl games until my rules are acknowledged by Chris Fowler.

TL;DR: If you’re going to gatekeep the playoff, you should at least be forced to explain it in public like an adult.

  1. The "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" Rule

    Any coach who complains about being left out must submit game film proving their team actually tackled someone in November. Committee reviews while eating the coach's hometown barbecue.

  2. The Strength of Schedule Humiliation Clause

    If your non-conference schedule includes three schools the committee has never heard of, you must display their mascots on your helmet during the playoff. Good luck intimidating anyone with "Freddy the Fighting Artichoke" on your head.

    Note: this joke used to say "Mean Green", but UNT was good this season.

  3. The "We Get It, You're Blue Blood" Rotation

    Ohio State, Alabama, and Georgia must sit out one year per decade so the rest of us can pretend we have a chance. They can use the time to count their money.

    Note: This is the opposite of Notre Dame's "whine and get in" strategy.

  4. The Overtime Escalation Format

    First overtime: normal rules. Second overtime: two-point conversions only. Third overtime: head coaches must attempt one field goal each. Fourth overtime: student sections fight.

  5. The Transfer Portal Loyalty Discount

    Teams whose starting quarterback has been there more than 18 months get a half-point boost in the rankings.

    Note: any team coached by Dabo Swinney is excluded.

  6. The "Explain It Like We're Five" Mandate

    Committee members must justify every ranking using only a whiteboard and crayons. If you can't explain why a three-loss team is ahead of a one-loss team using stick figures, the ranking is invalid.

  7. The Anonymous Ballot Reveal

    After the season, we publish which committee member voted for whom. Let Gary from the athletic department explain to an entire fan base why he had A&M at 16 when everyone else had them at 4. Accountability through public shame.

  8. The Eye Test Optometry Requirement

    Any committee member who cites the "eye test" must first pass an actual eye exam on live television.

  9. The Conference Championship Chaos Clause

    If you don't play in your conference championship but a team that beat you does, you cannot be ranked ahead of them. This seems obvious and yet here we are.

  10. The "Nobody Watched That Game" Admission

    Committee members must log which games they actually watched live versus which ones they checked the box score for at 11 PM. We all know you didn't watch the West Coast 8:00 PM kick.

  11. The Margin of Victory Honesty Hour

    Stop pretending you don't care about it. You care. We all care. Just admit that beating someone 45-3 is more impressive than winning 13-10 because your kicker knocked a chip shot in.

  12. The Mid-Major Audition Round

    Any Group of Five team that finishes undefeated gets to play the lowest-ranked Power Four team in a play-in game the week before the playoff. Win and you're in. Lose and at least you got a chance, which is more than you get now.

    Note: this one kind of actually played out in 2025, and they got smoked. So instead of playing the bottom seeded team, truly play #24 or #25.

  13. The Preseason Poll Probation

    Teams ranked in the preseason top ten who finish unranked must start the following season at rank 50 and climb back up. Stop giving Notre Dame and Tennesee (weirdly??) pre-season hype and then they go 8-4.

    Bonus: If they're in the Top 3, but don't make the playoff, they can't be ranked above 50 until midseason and they automatically are excluded from the first CFP ranking.

  14. The "You Played Nobody" Scarlet Letter

    Any team whose non-conference wins combine for fewer than 10 total victories must have an asterisk next to their ranking. Hover over the asterisk and it shows the names of the schools they got those wins from.

  15. The Transitive Property Tribunal

    A monthly hearing where fans can submit transitive property arguments. "We beat the team that beat the team that beat Georgia, therefore we deserve respect." Committee must listen to all of them. All of them. This is their punishment for being on the committee.

  16. The Recency Bias Rehab Program

    Committee members must watch week 3 games again in November before voting. Remember when that team you have at 6 barely survived against a Sun Belt school? We remember.

  17. The Poll Inertia Penalty

    If a team stays in the exact same spot for four consecutive weeks despite wildly different performances, the committee must submit a written explanation of what that team would actually have to do to move.

  18. The Undefeated Respect Minimum

    Any undefeated team, regardless of conference, must be ranked in the top 12. Period. Figure out where later, but they're in the conversation. They've done literally the only thing we ask teams to do.

    Does this conflict with my earlier rule about mid-majors having to play in? No it doesn't, being undefeated overrides everything.

  19. The Chaos Dividend

    If a team ranked 1-4 loses to an unranked team, every team that already beat them gets a small rankings bump.

  20. The Computer Poll Tiebreaker

    Whenever the committee deadlocks, a computer poll breaks the tie. The computer doesn't care about "the feel of the team" or "leadership intangibles." The computer only knows math, and math doesn't lie.

    HAHA, JUST KIDDING! Fuck the BCS.

  21. The Preseason Accountability Report Card

    At season's end, publish how accurate each committee member's preseason predictions were. The guy who had Florida State winning it all doesn't get to lecture us about evaluating teams in November.